Q:In addition to the 2pm Purple Friday event tomorrow, there is also a 6pm event at SPAC for approximately 625 distinguished alumni, trustees, deans etc to kick off the campaign. It might be helpful to raise awareness and show support there as well. Not necessary to post to the tumblr, but I wanted to submit anonymously to the Title IX fb group.
Q:It is said that sexual assault differs from every other kind of assault in that both the victim and the perpetrator may not recognize a sexual assault when it occurs. When I was very young, my cousin, four years older than me but still only just pubescent, asked me to play a game with him. A game that ended in touching my genitals inappropriately. I didn't understand the pit that formed in my stomach, a feeling that will never truly leave me. I still have mixed feelings about blaming him.
Q:When I was raped, I was drunk. I suspect that something was put into my drink, but I don't have proof. I may have "willingly" gotten myself drunk or been drugged without my knowledge, but that doesn't change the fact that I was raped while barely conscious, that I only came to when I felt tearing pain in between my legs. Whenever I tell anyone what happened, they focus on whether or not I was drugged... as if the rape wouldn't really "count" if I was just intoxicated. Rape is rape.
Q:I was the first person to talk to my best friend after she was raped. I suffered in that there was absolutely nothing I could do to help her, nor to define her experience, and that lack of control is suffocating. I was told not to label her experience for her, not to define it, and only to be supportive. For those of you who have loved ones who have been raped, it's okay to need help too, to feel hurt and to suffer. You're not taking away from their trauma by experiencing your own.
Q:I've been watching the movement happening at NU, and while my experiences are more childhood based, I stand with the survivors of sexual violence in general who are daring to speak up on this campus. This blog has helped me realize that I'm not alone.
Q:As a faculty member who does research on sexual assault, I wanted to address some of the common rape myths -such as that rape, especially when fueled by alcohol, happens out of a miscommunication. Not true. The research clearly shows that rape is pre-meditated, that most rapists are serial predators, and that alcohol is used as a TOOL by rapists. When a tenured professor gets an 18 year old student drunk until she is blacked out, that is predatory. And she was most likely not his first victim.
Q:Here's the deal. We all know someone who has been raped. Even if you don't think you do, statistically, you have to. Very few people tell others because they are so ashamed and are afraid of being blamed. And only 3% of rapists ever spend a DAY in jail cause there is so little support for survivors to come forward. So when you publicly speak about how someone like Ludlow might not be to blame cause there was alcohol, you are silencing others. You are invalidating them. Think before you speak.
Interested in further activism?
Although this tumblr is an incredible start to challenging sexual violence, awareness is only a part of activism. If you have any comments, suggestions or would simply like to know how you can get involved, email email@example.com.
We are currently hoping to use some of these submissions and experiences in future events or letters to show how sexual violence does occur on college campuses. If you are willing to have your story used in other forms of activism, email firstname.lastname@example.org with a simple copy & paste of your story. All emails will be confidential and we will NEVER release your name. If you’re worried about using your own email, you may re-submit your story anonymously prefaced with “I GIVE CONSENT FOR MY STORY TO BE USED.”
Although we obviously cannot verify that the true authors are giving permission as the submissions are all anonymous, we want to give you the most control over your story as possible. If you adamantly do not want your story to be used, you may also let us know via email or another submission, but rest assured that we will only use stories with your expressed permission.
Q:When I was raped, I decided not to go to the hospital. My close friends were initially very supportive. A few months later, we heard that a girl we distantly knew was raped and went to the hospital for a rape kit. When my friends brought up what they heard, they prefaced it by saying "well this is different from yours because hers was like serious... she went to the hospital". We need to stop comparing traumas and rating them as worse or better... it's not a competition.
Q:When people hear the way young college men talk about sexual assault and rape on campus and are disgusted I think its important to note that societal roles imposed on men that can cause them to no understand. This is in no way trying to diminish the blame and young man may have in a sexual assault. However overall societal/college culture tend to foster environments where boys are expected to "man up" and "take charge" not to ask permission before making an advance.